The Heart of a Boy

There once was a boy who was born in another country who had a mother and father. The country was poor and so were the boy's parents. They both loved the boy but could hardly afford to feed him or take care of him. The best they could do for the boy was feed him sugar cane and put him up for adoption. The boy was not able to recall much about early surroundings and growing up. But the mother cared for the boy enough where the boy is to this day able to have one image in his mind of a mountain and a small little shack at the bottom with his mother holding him. The boy will always remember this in his mind whether it's real or not.

The boy's father did pass away shortly after the boy was born. The boy's father was a merchant and was murdered by a terrorist group known as the shining path. In the country where the boy was born, there used to be something called national terrorist day. On that day everyone stayed inside and hide because the terrorists would roam the streets and pillage, murder, and spread fear. The boy doesn't know all the details and might never, but his father was outside on a terrorist day and was murdered by the terrorist group. This very reason is probably also why the mother decided to put the boy up for adoption. Having very little money and losing her husband, she wanted the boy to live a better life and a family that could take care of him and love him.

Two gay men visited the county, a couple, who were looking to adopt. They had to barter and pay off doctors, lawyers, and all kinds of people to access certain parts of the country and even be considered. One of the things the boy remembers is the way people spoke. In the boy's home country some spoke spanish and the foreigners visiting spoke english. The boy would often mumble, or almost make out words and it was a mix between the two languages. The reason the boy would not speak and would sound things out make these noises because there were two languages at conflict. The boy wasn't sure which to pick. From the moment the boy was born he already analyzed everything and carefully calculated things.

But the boy was also born with something special and received something special from his parents. The heart of a boy. A heart of purity, strength, love, courage, consideration, and the stubbornness to never give up. The boy was adopted by the two gay fathers and lived in a residential neighborhood growing up. The boy remembers getting teddy bears and soft things growing up and having a sister who he would play with and being happy. But even at that age the boy showed kindness in pre-school to people, to friends, and to his adopted parents and sister.

As the boy grew and went to kindergarten through grade school, the boy tried his hands at sports, and masculine activities but never could quite get the hang of it. The reason why the boy's confidence lacked and why he was nervous to make friends or be around people because the boy was missing something. The boy was missing an identity and a mother. The boy would grow up watching everyone interact with their mothers and on mother's day wonder why he did not have a mother. He had two fathers and by one was forced to do more masculine and hands on activities but did not like to be forced to do things he did not want to do. But inside the boy also felt different and a bit isolated from having two fathers. The boy would at times lie about having two father's not because he was ashamed of them, he loved them very much, because of what others would think of him and them.

The boy eventually made friends his age and the boy enjoyed hanging out with his friends, doing nothing, the boy learned about cursing and sex from his friend's as well. The boy's rebellion grew too and he learned more how to rebell against adults and things he did not like and the boy liked being idiotic at times, random, stubborn, and somewhat of a pervert as well. Things eventually changed for the boy, people around the boy changed. Friends he would spend summers with or times hanging out, playing video games, talking about girls, or doing stupid stuff were different. Things they used to not care about such as status, who they spent time with, and what they did suddenly mattered. The boy lost very close friends but got to spend one last summer with them at camp so despite the change, the boy had fond memories he would keep in his heart forever.

Things not only changed with friends for the boy his parents changed as well. One of his fathers became more busy with work and relied on the other father to help the kids with homework, feed them, and care for them more. The boy struggled with school work and studies because of the lack of self confidence and the father struggled to try to understand the boy and accept that he was different from the boy and angry at that. The father would yell and scream at the boy and make the boy feel so little and so different that the boy wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and die even at that age. With difficulties at home with parents and friend's fading the boy started to grow cold and alone. The boy cried more often, the boy had less confidence in himself and the boy did more things alone and by himself. In middle and high school the peers around the boy cared more about drinking, fucking girls, sports, and things that did not interest the boy. Even among geeks and nerds the boy rarely fit in with others. The boy was very gifted and adapt with technology that the boy spent almost all his time online. This was an escape for the boy. He could talk to others around his age or a bit older, RPG with friends online and escape the real world. Online the boy could be strong, he could be smart and he had friends who he could talk to, game with and even help with. This gave the boy a strength but it also gave him a weakness.

The boy started becoming dettached from reality and spent many a nights staying up late in his online world and developed a little bit of insomnia as well. The boy's studies also suffered more than they originally did and he had more trouble in school, more trouble caring, and more problems with one of his fathers as well. As for school life, the boy was so miserable at that point where he gave up. The boy stopped going to class sometimes, would sleep in class and just dream of a world where he could be a strong proud man and did not have to be the weak coward he felt like. It wasn't all bad for the boy in school though. Although the boy did not really have friends he did have a few people he talked to. And the boy was in chorus and enjoyed singing. The boy did not care what others thought since he did not have friends anyways but the boy was able to do something he liked and it made his parents proud and gave him a little confidence.

For a time in school the boy developed a crush on a girl as well. He crushed on her for a number of years afraid to even talk to her too. The boy was very modest in school. The boy was not mean to people and sometimes overly kind. The boy got used many times by his peers and his naivety and kindness was taken advantage of. Despite this the boy still kept his kindness even though he felt cold and lonely at times. The lonliest times for the boy were actually at lunch. The boy would sometimes sit with people he knew or kind of knew but as they made more friends and had more groups and cliques the boy felt out of place even if he was "wanted" by someone. The boy still felt like an outcast.

The boy would often eat on the steps of his school away from everyone eating a cup of ramen. The boy liked the ramen for it's asian influence and the simplicity and portability of it. Everyday the boy ate lunch outside alone the boy would feel the wind blow and feel sleepy but at peace because the boy was alone. Once a boy who was afraid to be alone, sad because of the absense of his mother, a real identity or background, and self esteem issues the boy grew and learned to enjoy being alone.

The boy would take this newfound courage and strength and he would walk to the mall, the restaurants, cafe's, and just venture out listening to music and exploring. The boy would do this because when the boy felt the wind blow or look at the scenery outside the boy wanted to explore it. The boy wanted to explore it alone. The boy felt that if he travelled and did more things by himself he could learn more about himself and others. The boy was successful in the attempt and enjoyed many times venturing the mall by himself, window shopping, or going out to eat by himself. The boy even went to concerts alone to and made acquaintances with drunks or concert goers. But every connection the boy would make were just temperamental and he'd be alone again.

Eventually the boy grew to the point where he was making some friends..but like a cycle they changed, he changed, and the friendships ended. The boy's heart weakened and ached and the boy grew to the point where he wanted to be alone completely talk to no one and have no friends so that way when the boy was done with school he'd have no painful memories, no back stabbing, and no emotional attachment. Inside though, the boy knew he was fooling himself.

Whether it was fate or not, riots happened at the school and protests because of conflicts within the school system and the staff and the boy was pulled out of the school by his parents. For the remainder of the boy's high school years he went to a private school. Here the boy learned about philosophy, psychology, and literature and writing. The boy became obsessed with these three things. The boy was also able to write, work, and do his studies on his time and do them listening to music or on his laptop in his element. The boy friended the philosophy teacher as well who was a cute older man and actually grew a crush on him. As well as his math teacher.

Before the boy knew it he excelled in school like he never thought possible. The boy got good grades, studied, worked hard, and even graduated early. The boy still detested his parents and what home life became though and decided to go to college away. Before this the boy also finally turned 18 and was able to see certain movies and have sex. The boy went back to the world of the internet and instead of always jacking off talked to guys online. One of the boy's biggest revelations was saying, "I'm gay" in an online chat. The boy's heart beat, his palms sweat, and he started shaking at typing that while everyone was so warm and welcoming to him.

The boy even attended a pride in his city with friends from an online site. He had fun until they wanted to go drinking and he was not of age. But while the boy was with his friends he spotted a leather booth which caught his eye. The boy knew nothing of leather and was curious about it. But the boy also saw an older leather daddy eyeing him through the booth and through a sea of people. The boy thought nothing of it though until his friend's left him. The boy did notice that some of the friend's did not want to go to the bar and wanted to do something the boy could do as well but a few of them outvoted the rest but the boy also assured them he would be fine by himself. Afterall, that's what the boy was used to.

But the boy had other plans. He wanted to know about the leather man and his booth. The boy went inside the booth and he could feel the leatherman eying him and checking him out. The boy naively asked about the chains, whips, paddles, and the jocks and harnesses. The man feeling the boy's hesitation said he will demonstrate on the boy. The boy was ordered to bend over the and the boy felt the man's forceful hand on his ass through his jeans. The boy loved the sensation and being in the state of submission he was in. Before the boy could process anymore the boy's pants were pulled down and his bare ass was exposed in public. The boy could hear people talking and was a bit nervous about it being out in public, but the boy's fears we erased as the force of the strong man's hand hit the boy's soft ass. The boy was very turned on and had a huge hard on while being spanked in public.

After the demonstration the boy talked with the man and learned much about them. They even played a bit in the tent. The boy served the man for the weekend every time he went to the pride tent. Whether he was helping the man organize the leather, watch the shop, or servicing the man, the boy was comitted. The man brought out something in the boy. He brought out the boy's heart. The boy did have to say goodbye to the man though but the man gave the boy a special pin, a bear, and a jockstrap that the boy eyed when he first saw the shop. The man even did something that the boy knows he does not do for everyone. The boy and the man had an emotional last meal at a chinese restaurant nearby. The boy cried when he had the leave the man but the man assured the boy not to cry and be sad because the boy has a strong heart and a kind heart and that the boy will find a man of his own one day. But the man also told him that in many ways the boy will always be part of his life and be a boy of his. The man promised the boy he'd understand the meaning behind that one day.

As the boy watched the man drive off he had his first experience with leather, a leather man, and serving a kind and caring top. The man had corrupted the boy forever and was proud of it.